From One Air Force Spouse To Another....aka FAQ

I wish that I had the time, energy, and drive to email back all of you who email me, because I know that when I read your emails you are doing the same thing I did when we first joined....looking for answers. There are so many questions and so little places to find the answers for them and when we do find them it's from someone who either doesn't really know, are trying to sell you the military, or are trying to share their opinion, and somehow we are stuck there telling ourselves that there has to be someone who knows. I'm not saying that I am that someone but I am hoping that this helps some of you out. So if I fail (as I often do) at returning your email, check these questions out and I bet you'll find the one your looking for. If not then just give me time I'll get to ya, I promise.

Questions:

1:)What is military housing like and is it free?

For the most part all military homes look alike with a few changes here and there to fit the location's needs. But the one thing that is always the same on a military base; all homes are cookie cutter with two maybe three layout plans available. Two bedrooms match two bedroom, three bedroom match three bedroom and though there aren't too many of them four bedrooms match four bedrooms. There's nothing like walking into your neighbor's house and seeing "your" house with different furniture. On base the homes are free to live in but recently staring around 2005 these home have switched from being maintained by the military to being own and operated by a private company. On some bases you will receive a BAH for this house that will cover all your cost. This makes no sense to me. A home that you lived in for free a year ago you now will pay rent and utilities for...only you will be given a set amount of money to cover all those cost therefore making the home free (technically).  On other bases you will not receive any type of BAH and will just live in the home. It will still be owned and operated by a private company. Most on base housing is very nice and clean.
Off base living is preferred by many long term enlisted member for many different reasons. When living off base you will receive a separate pay called BAH or Basic Housing Allowance. This is a set amount based on rank and location. When living off base it is your responsibility to make this set amount cover your rent and utilities.....for many bases this amount is never enough and some cost will come out of pocket.

2:) Can you pick where you get stationed and how often do you have to move?

NO, you do not get to pick your station. You get to make a "Dream sheet" a list of bases you would like, but there is no guarantee that you will get those bases and often you may not.
Moving is a tricky question. Most families move about every four years but how often can depend on need, desire, and job. Many people have found a base they loved and have stayed for many years, and some people like to move as often as possible. Depending on your career desires this can be a positive thing. Because of the cost of moving more and more families are staying at base for longer and longer time periods.

3:) How do your kids handle military life?

I can only assume that they seem to handle it pretty well. But I think it depends on how young they are when they become part of this lifestyle. For my kids this is all they know it's "normal." so they handle it quite well. There are times when they get sad. Times when they want to know why Daddy has to leave, but most times they simply say "Is Daddy going to go to work now?" like it's any other day.

4:) How often does your husband deploy?

Again this is going to be different for every single member in the military. There are reasons like rank, training, years of service, and need, that play a factor into how often a person is gone. For our family it is normally every 12 months for 6 months. In that 12 months "home" he will do a few months of TDY.
TDY is when an enlisted member will travel to another base/place for a few days, a few weeks, normally less than a month. It does not count as a deployment and when the 12 months pass and his number group comes around if they need him he will have to go even if he just spent the last few months TDY.

5:) What is the hardest thing about military life?

This question is hard because I think it fully depends on who you are as a person. For me hands down it's the being away from family. It never gets easier.

6:) Are military wives really as bad as I hear?

this stems from a very old stereotype of military wives. Military wives fall into three stereotypes.
The stuck up "wears her husbands rank" type of wife.
The lazy uneducated wife
and
The "I bet she has a boyfriend when her husband deploys" type of wife.
The sad thing, is that these stereotype are stronger inside the military community than they are from civilian wives. Will you find some that fit into these? sure, I suppose you would, but does everyone fit into one of them....not at all.

7:) What is the pay like?

that would depend on the day. The military work day is not like a civilian work day. There is no over time, no holiday pay, no time and half. There is just your pay. When you're working eight hours a day, five days a week this is good pay. But when you are working 12 hour days, six days a week it comes out to a pretty shitty average.

8:)Do you find it hard to find work when you move so much?

I've been very blessed that having to find work has never been an issue for us. Being a photographer and a writer allows me to work from home as often as I desire.
Are there jobs available to spouses on base? There are lots and lots of them. From working in an office, the BX, to being a nanny for someone else, the options are endless.  Can you find a job out in the community? that depends on where you're stationed and what you're wanting to do, but it is my strong belief that if you NEED a job there is always one out there it just might not be what you thought it would be.

9:) How do you deal with being away from your husband so much?

You know I answer this the same way every time....you just do. There is no quick fix or list of ways to make it seem like he isn't gone. There's no sure fire thing I can tell you that would change how hard it is. I just know that you wake up, you do what life demands of you, you go to sleep, and then you repeat. Life doesn't end when he leaves. Things still need to get done, bills still need to get paid and the world keeps going round. You find your way of living and at some point it works for you.

10:) What's the one thing you would tell someone who is thinking about enlisting?

Do your research. Talk about it with the people you love. Think it through. Ask questions. Never except an "I don't know" for an answer. And once you've got all your answers find a new requiter and ask them all over again. If the answers don't match ask why? Then email me and I'll tell you the truth.