I'm not really sure what the reasons are or the needs that people have this time of year but right about now and in the next few months enlistment rate will go up. And the more people who enlist the more spouses there are left to figure out what the future is going to mean. These last few weeks my mail box has been filling up with letters from future military spouses, current military spouses and even a few retired military spouses. So much so that it has become clear that I am unable to answer all of these letters in a timely manner. There could be two reasons for this.

1:) I am currently spending my days coughing up what I am pretty sure are my lungs while trying to hold on to a bladder the resembles that of an 80 year old grandmother and less like a 30 year old mother of two.....oh how child rearing is fun.

or

2:) I am really bad at procrastinating.

So instead of not wanting to leave any questions unanswered I thought I would post the top ten questions I have received the last few weeks. I encourage you to please continue to email me your questions and I will continue to answer them hence the title being that of "part one". If I do not cover your question here email me again and again and again until I answer it.

Questions:

1:)What is military housing like and is it free?

For the most part all military homes look alike with a few changes here and there to fit the location's needs. But the one thing that is always the same on a military base, all homes are cookie cutter with two maybe three layout plans available. Two bedrooms match two bedroom, three bedroom match three bedroom and though there aren't too many of them four bedrooms match four bedrooms. There's nothing like walking into your neighbor's house and seeing "your" house with different furniture. On base the homes are free to live in but recently in the last 10 years these home have switched from being maintained by the military to being own and operated by a private company. This makes no sense to me. A home that you lived in for free a year ago you now will pay rent and utilities for...only you will be given a set amount of money to cover all those cost therefore making the home free (technically). Most on base housing is very nice and clean. Off base living is preferred by many long term enlisted member for many different reasons. When living off base you will receive a separate pay called BAH or Basic Housing Allowance. This is set amount based on rank and location. When living off base it is your responsibility to make this set amount cover your rent and utilities.....for many bases this amount is never enough and some cost will come out of pocket.

2:) Can you pick where you get stationed and how often do you have to move?

NO, you do not get to pick your station and most families move about every four years but how often can depend on need, and desire. Many people have found a base they loved and stayed for many years, and some people like to move as often as possible. Depending on your career desires this can be a positive thing.

3:) How do your kids handle military life?

I can only assume that they seem to handle it pretty well. But I think it depends on how young they are when they become part of this lifestyle. For my kids this is all they know it's "normal." so they handle it quite well.

4:) How often does your husband deploy?

Again this is going to be different for every single member in the military. There are reasons like rank, training, years of service, and need that play a factor into how often a person is gone. For our family it is normally every 12 months for 4 months. In that 12 months "home" he will do a few months of TDY. TDY is when an enlisted member will travel to another base/place for a few days, a few weeks, normally less than a month. It does not count as a deployment and when the 12 months pass and his number group comes around if they need him he will have to go even if he just spent the last few months TDY

5:) What is the hardest thing about military life?

This question is hard because I think it fully depends on who you are as a person. For me hands down it's the being away from family. It never gets easier.

6:) Are military wives really as bad as i hear?

this stems from a very old stereotype of military wives. Military wives fall into three stereotypes. The stuck up "wears her husbands rank" type of wife. The lazy uneducated wife, and the "I bet she has a boyfriend when her husband deploys" type of wife. The sad thing is these stereotype are stronger inside the military community than they are to civilian wives. Will you find some that fit into these? sure I suppose you would but does everyone fit into one of them....not at all.

7:) What is the pay like?

that would depend on the day. The military work day is not like a civilian work day. There is no over time, no holiday pay, no time and half. There is just your pay. When you're working eight hours a day, five days a week this is good pay. But when you are working 12 hour days six days a week it comes out to a pretty shitty average. But for many who stay its not so much about the pay.

8:)Do you find it hard to find work when you move so much?

I've been very blessed that having to find work has never been an issue for us. if I wanted to make some money I took a few pictures for people. If I wanted a job I searched for something to fill up my time. Are there jobs available to spouses on base? there are lots and lots of them. From working in the BX, to being a nanny for someone else. Will you find one out in the community? that depends on where your stationed and what you're wanting to do, but it is my strong belief that if you NEED a job there is always one out there it just might not be what you thought it would be.

9:) How do you deal with being away from your husband so much?

You know I answer this the same way every time....you just do.

10:) What's the one thing you would tell someone who is thinking about enlisting?

Do your research. Talk about it with the people you love. Think it through. Ask questions. Never except an "I don't know" for an answer. And once you've got all your answers find a new requiter and ask them all over again. If the answers don't match ask why? Then email me and I'll tell you the truth.