Oil and Water

Maybe using an example of oil and water isn't completely accurate. Maybe it's better to use the example of two magnets trying to touch when their facing the same way. Have you ever tried to touch magnets when you have the same ends facing each other? positive to positive, or negative to negative? It's eighth grade science and it's a complete metaphor for my life with Big Bird. We are so very much the same, maybe too much the same. Both strong minded, opinionated, and smart women who have a hard time admitting they are wrong and giving in to another's point of view. Yet we push each other with so much force that without knowing it you can knock a person down. It doesn't help that Big Bird's mind is not that of an eight year old, though her emotions and understanding of her emotions are that of an eight year old. Her knowledge is extensive and sometimes intimidating, but that doesn't mean she knows everything. There is still lots and lots and lots for her to learn, but she is having a hard time believing that. Her social skills have never been very good. Because of her brain and the way she thinks she has always had a hard time making friends. Much like her mother she needs things to go in order... ABC, and it is hard for her to understand why anyone would go BCA.....it's not in order, it's not "correct".....it's not the rules. A kid who needs to have rules and needs to know how things works can sometimes be a hard kid to understand and want to play with. But that has never changed her desire to please. Her desire to help. Her compassion is something to be admired. Her heart is so big and filled with love for people that it makes you sure God made her to bring greatness to world.
But this Bird and I bump heads all the time and the older she gets the harder we push and bigger the wall between us gets. I'm not sure if it's a Mama thing, a parent thing, or a woman thing, maybe it's a human thing but here is this person who I love so much, but right now I'm having a hard time being around. And I can't help thinking to myself "She's only eight. What happens when she's eighteen?"

Oh Lord Please help me.