coffee .. vanilla .... with milk .. stat!
This has been on my computer screen for the last few days. It has really been the only thing I have seen. It can be overwhelming the amount of work that goes into saying good-bye to a loved one. It's even harder I think when that someone was a person you respected and whose family you truly do not want to let down. And I only had one thing to do..so I can only imagine what everyone else must be feeling.
Now let me make it clear to anyone who might remotely be related to me and is reading this post that I am in no way complaining about being asked to make something for the family to remember this time. In fact I was honored. Yet, when I sat down and found out that everyone put their faith in me, I got scared. I feared so much that I would let everyone down. That it wouldn't be good enough, that I wouldn't be able to give them what I know they had in the their hearts. I was afraid. But for them, for her, I was going to do it. There are a lot of things that are going to happen this week that I have to tell you all, I would truly only do for this family.
1:) I will once again be reciting the Rosary......this has not happened in many, many *coughs* many years.
2:) I will be attending Mass....to know how long its been since I have been a part of Mass refer to post 1.
3:) I am thinking but have not yet decided if I will take part in the Eucharist. I lean towards not doing so since I have not a:) done so in many years, b:) gone to confession, and c:) am still battling my place in faith....which technically means I shouldn't/can't participate.
4:) I'm going to wear heels....this one doesn't seem so important next to rest but still I thought I would include it if for no other reason than for you all to relate to my pain.
The truth is for every second that I sat in front of this computer looking at the same images, and writing the same things over again I was filled with happiness. Happiness that I have been allowed to be part of this family, apart of Mrs. S's (try saying that out loud) life, if only for a moment. I'm happy that in this moment of sorrow I was not only able to help but had family there to fully believe I was capable of doing so.
To all of you who read this and I will see soon I want to say to you, I love you.
Diary of an Air Force Wife
Reader Comments (2)
Love you too! Everything will work out. Much love and hugs!
Not for a minute did I think you wouldn't do an amazing job. Thank you again. You have an amazing eye and an amazing writing voice and I can't thank you enough for what you did. I know it went way beyond the computer work. The Sgt. was such a gift to both my grandparents and they are certainly smiling knowing what a beautiful, amazing wife and family he has. And, for good or bad, if you marry in...you are one of us for life.